Put Love First! This is a new theme in our lives. As Jon and I continue our work toward the reconciliation of our marriage, this new theme is one we are working on daily. It sounds easy, right? PUT. LOVE. FIRST. Yet, for most married couples, love is the last thing that happens. We get up, scurry around, go to work, feed the family, do the laundry, return phone calls, watch our favorite t.v. show, jump on facebook, read emails, and so on. This is the typical schedule for a married couple. No where in that schedule is time, set aside, to intentionally connect with our spouse. The result? Discontentment, emptiness, frustration, resentment....
Our marriage reconciliation plan calls for us to spend at least 15 hours of interrupted time together each week. Yes, I said 15 hours...at least. No phone, no kids, no email, no facebook, no talk of work, no talk of problems in our marriage, no ministry. 15 hours to connect. The result of this uninterrupted time has been a true connection, and falling in love with each other, again.
I challenge you today, to make a list of the things you do everyday. How many hours a week do you spend on facebook? How many hours a week do you spend watching tv? How many hours a week do you spend on household chores, ministry, emails, and hobbies? Add them up.
Now, honestly evaluate how many hours a week, you spend connecting with your spouse? What you will probably find is a huge discrepancy between the hours you spend on other things, and the hours you spend connecting with your husband or wife.
Over the last few weeks, I've become quite bold about asking people if they are putting love first. Some of my friends have been taken aback by my question. Maybe you feel I have no right to ask people that telling question, due to what happened in my marriage. Maybe you're right. Either way, I can promise you this. If you put love first, what happened in our marriage, will not happen in yours.
Today, I am sounding a warning...especially to Pastors. Put your marriage first. PUT. LOVE. FIRST. Carve out 15 hours a week, of uninterrupted time together--just the two of you. Seek to meet each other's needs and connect. The time spent investing in each other will net incredible results!
Thank you ALL for the continued prayers. God is working an unimaginable miracle in Jon and I! Never, ever give up on your marriage. PUT. LOVE. FIRST.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Just One Little Ingredient Makes ALL The Difference
Lately, my son Caleb is into doing science experiments. The other day, he asked me to taste one of his experiments. I am one brave Mom, and tentatively took a sip of his concoction. The drink he made was so bitter, it hurt my jaw and I instantly made a "sour face." You know, the one where your right eye squints and your cheeks cave in? Caleb found this quite funny, and then challenged me to try his second experiment, which he assured me would be much better. I played along, and again, hesitantly took a sip of the second drink. It was much different than the first drink and instead of being bitter was sweet, and very pleasing to the palate!
I asked Caleb about the differences between the two drinks he made. As he listed the ingredients, it became clear that there was only ONE ingredient that was different in the two drinks. The result was that one drink was bitter, and one was sweet.
The next morning during my devotions, I thought back to Caleb's science experiment. Over the last several months, I have fought bitterness and anger in my own life. I admit, it's been a tough battle. I don't think anyone wants to be bitter. Even as you read the word bitter, people you know who struggle with bitterness probably come to mind. None of us aspire to be bitter people, yet when life throws us into situations where we've been deeply wounded, feelings of hurt, despair, anger, disappointment can germinate. The unfortunate result is that roots of bitterness take hold. When roots of bitterness embed into our hearts and lives, the result is destructive. Bitterness skews every facet of our lives. We become cynical, and build walls to keep others out. It also hinders our ability to walk with God.
Yet, just like in the case of Caleb's science experiment, just one little ingredient can make all the difference. That ingredient is: SURRENDER. When we actively surrender hurts and wounds to God, the tenacles of bitterness slowly untangle from our hearts. The roots of bitterness are pulled up and weeded out. What then takes root is peace, contentment, and a soothing balm straight from Jesus.
Today, look at your list of ingredients. If bitterness is on your list of ingredients, replace it with SURRENDER. I encourage you to say, out loud, "Jesus, I surrender _______." This simple act of obedience will be met His presence, peace and a sense of relief. How do I know? Because I say the phrase, I surrender, many times a day!
Just one little ingredient makes all the difference! Don't believe me? Try your own science experiment of changing one little ingredient today.
I asked Caleb about the differences between the two drinks he made. As he listed the ingredients, it became clear that there was only ONE ingredient that was different in the two drinks. The result was that one drink was bitter, and one was sweet.
The next morning during my devotions, I thought back to Caleb's science experiment. Over the last several months, I have fought bitterness and anger in my own life. I admit, it's been a tough battle. I don't think anyone wants to be bitter. Even as you read the word bitter, people you know who struggle with bitterness probably come to mind. None of us aspire to be bitter people, yet when life throws us into situations where we've been deeply wounded, feelings of hurt, despair, anger, disappointment can germinate. The unfortunate result is that roots of bitterness take hold. When roots of bitterness embed into our hearts and lives, the result is destructive. Bitterness skews every facet of our lives. We become cynical, and build walls to keep others out. It also hinders our ability to walk with God.
Yet, just like in the case of Caleb's science experiment, just one little ingredient can make all the difference. That ingredient is: SURRENDER. When we actively surrender hurts and wounds to God, the tenacles of bitterness slowly untangle from our hearts. The roots of bitterness are pulled up and weeded out. What then takes root is peace, contentment, and a soothing balm straight from Jesus.
Today, look at your list of ingredients. If bitterness is on your list of ingredients, replace it with SURRENDER. I encourage you to say, out loud, "Jesus, I surrender _______." This simple act of obedience will be met His presence, peace and a sense of relief. How do I know? Because I say the phrase, I surrender, many times a day!
Just one little ingredient makes all the difference! Don't believe me? Try your own science experiment of changing one little ingredient today.
Friday, December 30, 2011
We Choose---Reconciliation
I wanted to provide an update and humbly, yet sincerely ask for your continued prayers.
After much prayer and consideration, Jon and I have chosen to pursue reconciliation. We remain separated at this time, but are committed to the process of seeing God restore of marriage.
God has done some incredible miracles over the last several weeks. My heart was very hardened and I was leaning very heavy toward divorce. A month ago, Jon came to me, and humbly asked me to consider reconciliation. I was not swept off my feet, to say the least, but agreed to pray about the possibility of reconciliation.
I sought God constantly, and honestly, it was almost ridiculous what I asked of Him. I threw fleece after fleece out and within three days of my "rantings," God answered each fleece with unmistakeable confirmation. It was eery. God will be God and when we ask Him to reveal Himself, He does! The confirmation continued, and after two and a half weeks of constant prayer, I decided to take baby steps toward Jon. He was overjoyed that I would even consider reconciliation and has been incredibly patient.
We have a long, long road ahead of us. Yet, God has taken both of us by the hand and walked each step with us. I have no doubt He will continue to carry us as we seek Him, and work hard on our marriage.
So, the bottom line is this: WE CHOOSE RECONCILIATION! As we walk this very difficult road, I ask for your prayers. I ask for your cheerleading and love. I ask for respect. God is hearing your prayers, and we need Him to continue to be God to both of us. I have no doubt God will be faithful to us as we seek Him, and His Ways.
Maybe it's the former Pastor's wife in me, but I cannot end this blog without a little mini-sermon.
I know there are so many people hurting right now. They are in situations that seem hopeless and by man's standards, they probably are hopeless. If you need a miracle, or just need some glimmer of hope, I want to encourage you to reach out to God. He is waiting--waiting for you and ready to walk with you. God hears every prayer, He sees every tear, and as you cry out to Him, He stands ready to work on your behalf. Our prayers may not be answered the way we hope, but be assured, He has your best interests at heart. God wants to show you His amazing Love.
Thank you friends! I love you all and am grateful for your prayers and love.
Therefore, what God hath joined together, let no man separate! (Mark 10:9).
After much prayer and consideration, Jon and I have chosen to pursue reconciliation. We remain separated at this time, but are committed to the process of seeing God restore of marriage.
God has done some incredible miracles over the last several weeks. My heart was very hardened and I was leaning very heavy toward divorce. A month ago, Jon came to me, and humbly asked me to consider reconciliation. I was not swept off my feet, to say the least, but agreed to pray about the possibility of reconciliation.
I sought God constantly, and honestly, it was almost ridiculous what I asked of Him. I threw fleece after fleece out and within three days of my "rantings," God answered each fleece with unmistakeable confirmation. It was eery. God will be God and when we ask Him to reveal Himself, He does! The confirmation continued, and after two and a half weeks of constant prayer, I decided to take baby steps toward Jon. He was overjoyed that I would even consider reconciliation and has been incredibly patient.
We have a long, long road ahead of us. Yet, God has taken both of us by the hand and walked each step with us. I have no doubt He will continue to carry us as we seek Him, and work hard on our marriage.
So, the bottom line is this: WE CHOOSE RECONCILIATION! As we walk this very difficult road, I ask for your prayers. I ask for your cheerleading and love. I ask for respect. God is hearing your prayers, and we need Him to continue to be God to both of us. I have no doubt God will be faithful to us as we seek Him, and His Ways.
Maybe it's the former Pastor's wife in me, but I cannot end this blog without a little mini-sermon.
I know there are so many people hurting right now. They are in situations that seem hopeless and by man's standards, they probably are hopeless. If you need a miracle, or just need some glimmer of hope, I want to encourage you to reach out to God. He is waiting--waiting for you and ready to walk with you. God hears every prayer, He sees every tear, and as you cry out to Him, He stands ready to work on your behalf. Our prayers may not be answered the way we hope, but be assured, He has your best interests at heart. God wants to show you His amazing Love.
Thank you friends! I love you all and am grateful for your prayers and love.
Therefore, what God hath joined together, let no man separate! (Mark 10:9).
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Flowers In the Desert
The title of my devotion this morning was, "I love you." My eyes instantly welled up with tears, because I knew the devotion was going to be good. The words of the devotion, coupled with life-giving Scripture, were like water to my parched spirit. I wept, as the words leapt out on the page. They read, "I love you with an everlasting Love, which flows out from the depths of eternity. Before you were born, I knew you." (Young, 2004).
As I pondered the words from my devotion, I thought of a time our family hiked Arches National Park, in Moab, Utah. We walked a trail for half a mile or so, and paused to drink water to replenish our thirsty bodies. I always have my camera and something beautiful caught my eye. It was a small bush of purple flowers. The colors jumped out me, as they contrasted against the red rock. They were beautiful. Flowers in the desert are particularly miraculous because they receive so little nourishment and water. The climate is not ideal for anything to grow, and yet flowers find a way to spring forth each year, providing color and beauty in an otherwise, not so beautiful place.
As I thought about the concept of flowers in the desert, I could not help but relate it to my current desert experience. I, like the desert, am dry and parched. Yet, flowers have grown in my desert. The Love I feel from my Jesus, and the peace that accompanies me minute-by-minute, are beautiful expressions of God growing beautiful things in me--even in the midst of a desert experience. Flowers are indeed growing in the desert! What a gift!
Today, maybe you are in the midst of your own desert experience and are diligently seeking to get out of the desert. Instead of scurrying about, looking for the exit, can I encourage you to stop and take a drink of water? Let God give you nourishment for your parched spirit, and while you're waiting, look around for your own flowers. I promise you, they will be there.
Here's a quick update on Jon and I. I would humbly ask for your continued prayers. We are still separated, but are communicating very well. God is moving, but we need Him to be Mighty and we desperately need brothers and sisters to go to war for us, and our boys. Thank you for your continued support and prayers!
I love you all. Now, go get some water and look for your flowers in the desert!
Young, Sarah (2004). "Jesus Calling," (pg 266). Nashville, TN: Nelson Press
As I pondered the words from my devotion, I thought of a time our family hiked Arches National Park, in Moab, Utah. We walked a trail for half a mile or so, and paused to drink water to replenish our thirsty bodies. I always have my camera and something beautiful caught my eye. It was a small bush of purple flowers. The colors jumped out me, as they contrasted against the red rock. They were beautiful. Flowers in the desert are particularly miraculous because they receive so little nourishment and water. The climate is not ideal for anything to grow, and yet flowers find a way to spring forth each year, providing color and beauty in an otherwise, not so beautiful place.
As I thought about the concept of flowers in the desert, I could not help but relate it to my current desert experience. I, like the desert, am dry and parched. Yet, flowers have grown in my desert. The Love I feel from my Jesus, and the peace that accompanies me minute-by-minute, are beautiful expressions of God growing beautiful things in me--even in the midst of a desert experience. Flowers are indeed growing in the desert! What a gift!
Today, maybe you are in the midst of your own desert experience and are diligently seeking to get out of the desert. Instead of scurrying about, looking for the exit, can I encourage you to stop and take a drink of water? Let God give you nourishment for your parched spirit, and while you're waiting, look around for your own flowers. I promise you, they will be there.
Here's a quick update on Jon and I. I would humbly ask for your continued prayers. We are still separated, but are communicating very well. God is moving, but we need Him to be Mighty and we desperately need brothers and sisters to go to war for us, and our boys. Thank you for your continued support and prayers!
I love you all. Now, go get some water and look for your flowers in the desert!
Young, Sarah (2004). "Jesus Calling," (pg 266). Nashville, TN: Nelson Press
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
A New Venture!
Hi Friends:
Many of you have emailed and facebooked me to see how I'm doing, so I thought I would provide an update. Several of you have also asked if there is any way you can help me. Well, besides prayers and encouragement, there is a way you can help. Let me explain!
My situation has landed me into the category of single Mom, raising two boys. I am fully committed to being a Mom, yet I have to make money to provide. So, I did something I never thought I would do. I recently became a Mary Kay consultant. Now, don't laugh! The products are really great. I know, because I've been using them for four years.
Anyway, I have a sales goal I really need to meet this month, so that I can make ends meet and provide Christmas for the boys. So, I'm asking that my friends help out. Here are four ways you can support me.
1. Host a Mary Kay party. It is a blast and is very simple. Plus, you and your friends get some much needed pampering and you as a host, get a free gift.
2. Schedule a One-On-One Consult - Maybe you don't want to have a party, but you'd like to hang out with me. :). If so, I would love to do a personal facial and makeover on you.
3. Order Product. Go to http://www.marykay.com/, browse the website for what you want, and email me (angiedhamp@gmail.com) with an order. If you live outside of Denver, I will take care of shipping. I highly recommend any of the TimeWise products. They rock!! The lash love mascara and foundation are also amazing products. And who doesn't need a new lipstick? And guys, if you want to order something for your wife for Christmas, I can help you with that!
4. Pray for me. Money is tight and I need God to provide in big ways. I am not afraid to work hard and am asking God to open doors, so I can be a Mom, and work.
Now for an update: The boys and I continue to do well, considering. We are still living in Parker. God has been gracious to us and has blessed us. My in-laws are coming to spend Thanksgiving with us and we will also celebrate Caleb's birthday during the Thanksgiving holiday. I am still teaching Psychology at University of Phoenix and so grateful for that job.
Lately, I've been desperately missing ministry. I do know that God placed a call on my life at the age of nine, and I've been talking to Him about that. :). So many people have asked me if I'm angry with God and I just laugh. How can I be angry at the One who sustains me, loves me, cares for me, provides for me, and is my constant friend? I know that one day I will be whole again and that God will use me!!
Thank you friends, for ALL the prayers and encouragement. Please keep them coming! Thank you also for your support. I feel your love in incredible ways and am so grateful for ALL of you.
Many of you have emailed and facebooked me to see how I'm doing, so I thought I would provide an update. Several of you have also asked if there is any way you can help me. Well, besides prayers and encouragement, there is a way you can help. Let me explain!
My situation has landed me into the category of single Mom, raising two boys. I am fully committed to being a Mom, yet I have to make money to provide. So, I did something I never thought I would do. I recently became a Mary Kay consultant. Now, don't laugh! The products are really great. I know, because I've been using them for four years.
Anyway, I have a sales goal I really need to meet this month, so that I can make ends meet and provide Christmas for the boys. So, I'm asking that my friends help out. Here are four ways you can support me.
1. Host a Mary Kay party. It is a blast and is very simple. Plus, you and your friends get some much needed pampering and you as a host, get a free gift.
2. Schedule a One-On-One Consult - Maybe you don't want to have a party, but you'd like to hang out with me. :). If so, I would love to do a personal facial and makeover on you.
3. Order Product. Go to http://www.marykay.com/, browse the website for what you want, and email me (angiedhamp@gmail.com) with an order. If you live outside of Denver, I will take care of shipping. I highly recommend any of the TimeWise products. They rock!! The lash love mascara and foundation are also amazing products. And who doesn't need a new lipstick? And guys, if you want to order something for your wife for Christmas, I can help you with that!
4. Pray for me. Money is tight and I need God to provide in big ways. I am not afraid to work hard and am asking God to open doors, so I can be a Mom, and work.
Now for an update: The boys and I continue to do well, considering. We are still living in Parker. God has been gracious to us and has blessed us. My in-laws are coming to spend Thanksgiving with us and we will also celebrate Caleb's birthday during the Thanksgiving holiday. I am still teaching Psychology at University of Phoenix and so grateful for that job.
Lately, I've been desperately missing ministry. I do know that God placed a call on my life at the age of nine, and I've been talking to Him about that. :). So many people have asked me if I'm angry with God and I just laugh. How can I be angry at the One who sustains me, loves me, cares for me, provides for me, and is my constant friend? I know that one day I will be whole again and that God will use me!!
Thank you friends, for ALL the prayers and encouragement. Please keep them coming! Thank you also for your support. I feel your love in incredible ways and am so grateful for ALL of you.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
I "Choose" to Be Thankful
I love November! It is my favorite time of the year and as I logged onto facebook, I noticed that many of my friends posted (on this first day of November) something they are thankful for. Each post I read, made me smile.
I too am thankful. Life is tough right now and we are navigating some pretty rough seas. Yet, there is so much to be thankful for. It's amazing to me how much my attitude changes, when I choose to be grateful. God has been so real to me over the last two months. I am so thankful!! His presence settles over me like a warm blanket all day and His voice whispers to me throughout the day. Thank you, Jesus.
I know one life lesson God is hammering home to me is that being thankful and content, even in the most difficult of circumstances is a choice. When we make the choice to live in a state of gratefulness, it is incredible how clear our perspective becomes. We can choose to sit in our muck, have our pity party and wallow. Or, we can be thankful.
Maybe you're in a situation where you feel like you have very little to be thankful for. Maybe 2011 has been a horrendous year and life has knocked you all over the place. Perhaps, you've prayed and prayed for God to rescue you, save you, heal you, deliver you, provide for you and yet...your requests have seemingly been met with silence.
Can I challenge you to choose to be thankful anyway? You may be rolling your eyes at me right now, but do this. Grab a notebook and a pen and write down every single thing you're thankful for. At first, it might be difficult, but do it. I did this very exercise this morning and the page was filled within minutes. Tears of joy began to flow as I wrote down one thing after another, I am thankful for. My perspective changed, my heart sang, I smiled and God's presence filled my living room.
Being thankful during the mountain top experiences is easy. But choosing to be thankful in the valley is a blessing like none other! Try it!
I too am thankful. Life is tough right now and we are navigating some pretty rough seas. Yet, there is so much to be thankful for. It's amazing to me how much my attitude changes, when I choose to be grateful. God has been so real to me over the last two months. I am so thankful!! His presence settles over me like a warm blanket all day and His voice whispers to me throughout the day. Thank you, Jesus.
I know one life lesson God is hammering home to me is that being thankful and content, even in the most difficult of circumstances is a choice. When we make the choice to live in a state of gratefulness, it is incredible how clear our perspective becomes. We can choose to sit in our muck, have our pity party and wallow. Or, we can be thankful.
Maybe you're in a situation where you feel like you have very little to be thankful for. Maybe 2011 has been a horrendous year and life has knocked you all over the place. Perhaps, you've prayed and prayed for God to rescue you, save you, heal you, deliver you, provide for you and yet...your requests have seemingly been met with silence.
Can I challenge you to choose to be thankful anyway? You may be rolling your eyes at me right now, but do this. Grab a notebook and a pen and write down every single thing you're thankful for. At first, it might be difficult, but do it. I did this very exercise this morning and the page was filled within minutes. Tears of joy began to flow as I wrote down one thing after another, I am thankful for. My perspective changed, my heart sang, I smiled and God's presence filled my living room.
Being thankful during the mountain top experiences is easy. But choosing to be thankful in the valley is a blessing like none other! Try it!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Honesty is Like Drano
Shortly after everything hit the fan in our lives, I sat with a group of girlfriends and asked them if they and their husbands had talked about ways to prevent in their marriages, what happened in mine.
All of them looked at me, dumbfounded. So, I challenged them to talk honestly, with their husbands about their marriage relationship. Since that day, I've challenged other friends with the same question, and today felt the Holy Spirit nudge me, to send out a challenge to those who read my blog.
There are many great books and articles about affair-proofing a marriage, but most of us do not follow the biggest piece of advice these references give. That BIG piece of advice is honesty. Now, let's be "honest," none of us like honesty! Honesty hurts and is uncomfortable, but it is crucial in a marriage.
Jon and I are communicating very honestly right now. We've had gut-wrenching, honest conversations over the last six and a half weeks. These discussions are brutal and yet, our lines of communication are unclogging. You see, honesty is a lot like drano. It cuts through the muck of the pipes of communication and clears the path for communication to flow freely. And a result of honesty, is healing.
Jon and I have discovered that we made some HUGE mistakes. We put everything else (mostly the church plant) before each other. Oh, we tried not to, but somehow the ministry and church always snuck into our time together. Over time, resentment and anger built up and guess what? We weren't honest about it. Instead, we just pushed it down and worked harder, and all the while our marriage was deteriorating. It wasn't an overnight, instaneous disentegration. Instead, a slow erosion of our personal lives and our relationship happened. That is the typical pattern.
So, here's my challenge to you today. Get with your spouse and talk honestly. Be open about resentment, hurts, anger, frustrations, and where your needs are not being met. Most couples report that communication is an issue in their marriage, so get the drano out, be honest, and unclog your communication lines. These conversations won't be easy and they will hurt! But the reward of honest conversation is that healing, respect and love can flow.
If Jon and I, in the midst of our muck, can communicate honestly, then so can you! I'm praying for each of you that read this blog. Don't let the enemy continue to have a foothold in your marriage. Thank you again, to all of you who pray for Jon and I. God is moving and I believe He will be glorified through this situation!
All of them looked at me, dumbfounded. So, I challenged them to talk honestly, with their husbands about their marriage relationship. Since that day, I've challenged other friends with the same question, and today felt the Holy Spirit nudge me, to send out a challenge to those who read my blog.
There are many great books and articles about affair-proofing a marriage, but most of us do not follow the biggest piece of advice these references give. That BIG piece of advice is honesty. Now, let's be "honest," none of us like honesty! Honesty hurts and is uncomfortable, but it is crucial in a marriage.
Jon and I are communicating very honestly right now. We've had gut-wrenching, honest conversations over the last six and a half weeks. These discussions are brutal and yet, our lines of communication are unclogging. You see, honesty is a lot like drano. It cuts through the muck of the pipes of communication and clears the path for communication to flow freely. And a result of honesty, is healing.
Jon and I have discovered that we made some HUGE mistakes. We put everything else (mostly the church plant) before each other. Oh, we tried not to, but somehow the ministry and church always snuck into our time together. Over time, resentment and anger built up and guess what? We weren't honest about it. Instead, we just pushed it down and worked harder, and all the while our marriage was deteriorating. It wasn't an overnight, instaneous disentegration. Instead, a slow erosion of our personal lives and our relationship happened. That is the typical pattern.
So, here's my challenge to you today. Get with your spouse and talk honestly. Be open about resentment, hurts, anger, frustrations, and where your needs are not being met. Most couples report that communication is an issue in their marriage, so get the drano out, be honest, and unclog your communication lines. These conversations won't be easy and they will hurt! But the reward of honest conversation is that healing, respect and love can flow.
If Jon and I, in the midst of our muck, can communicate honestly, then so can you! I'm praying for each of you that read this blog. Don't let the enemy continue to have a foothold in your marriage. Thank you again, to all of you who pray for Jon and I. God is moving and I believe He will be glorified through this situation!
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